My Love

I know you are there just waiting
Waiting for me to hold you in my arms
Dreaming of my beauty and anxious to protect you
You know that I am here just waiting
Waiting for you to tell me graciously
How beautiful I am
How brave I am
I need you so much my love
I cant bear it any longer
I need you by my side my dear
For me to cherish and adore
For you to remind me who I am
But I just cant see
How you can find me
And my heart is breaking
But still waiting for you

Day Dream Poem

It felt like heaven being in your arms,

Walking on the beach with you,

I couldn't hide the sparkle in my eyes,

I wish our time could last,

With you I had a blast,

A mere memory I don't want to fade,

In your arms, I had it made,

On the beach at night,

Everything felt so right,

I loved having you there with me,

Walking in the clouds of destiny.

Winter Love

Pines with beds of white

Frozen snow covered ground

Bare trees like shadows

Iced lakes and streams

Scavenging birds

Burrowing hungry wildlife

Winter has set in

Resorting to survival

Waiting for relief

I am warm and cozy

My heart full with you

A stove is giving

Your love is my heat

Sights are visual pleasing

Cold is out of reach

Thoughts always smiling

Dreams a reality

At last we can believe

Numb

"Momma, Jake been gone a really long time. When we going to go to on vacation?" My day wasn't going so good today anyhow but when my Edward asked me that, my heart cracked again. Maybe my heart will never be completely heal no matter what kind of healing is done to it. Its been months since he died but I still have nightmares of him asking me why I left him. My body aches because I left them. I hear so many people say I shouldn't of had them. I'll agree I wasn't ready. Bella and Edward don't understand why I hold onto them so dearly when they crawl up in my arms. If life would let me I would never let them go. I know however that things will start to take their course. Being a mom will be difficult. I am not a teenager anymore. I already realize that those years are gone. Bella said she made Jake a picture. I know he has to see. God I miss that little boy. That half sleepy excited look he had all the time while looking at me. His favorite little onsies and shirts that said "Mommy's Baby" and "I Bite". I still hold the "I Bite" shirt to my face.... but its so cold now. The little heart isn't beating underneath it. Or Jake grabbing my ear like he was trying to tell me to listen to him even if he couldn't talk. Or me leaning over him while he kicked my chest. I still remember right after they were born, we went to Mobile, as a family. I remember getting in the pool with them all. My hair clinging all the way down my back while pushing them around in the pool in their covered innertube thing. Bella kicking making the water splash. And handing them to Luke. Pushing the stroller that held all three them together with Luke. I remember trying to be romantic with him on that trip but neither one of us felt. And while I was taking care of the kids then he had his nose in a book while walking around with us. That was the beginning of us not working out. We had been married what? 4 months and already I was ready to tell him take his dang books and shove it. Don't get me wrong I love to read but help me when I need beside just looking up and telling me I'm doing an okay job and go back to reading. Then the night I left the first time. I remember telling Jake I would come back for him but I never made it back to Luke and them. I went to Florida first then drove back to Mobile and there I stayed. It wasn't so easy but I made it. I am grateful that I made it this far now if I could just plow on through.

Shrunken Heads

I love how these look for a Halloween decoration and how simple they are to make! 

1) Peel the entire apple. 

2)Then use a small knife to carve out the face. 

   a)Cut out deep eye sockets and prominent noses, cheek bones etc.

3) Bake the carve apples at the lowest temperature on your oven for 3 hours. 

4) Sit them out at a warm, dry place.

5) Once they are dry press black beads for eyes and white rice for teeth into the apples.

6) Yarn and scraps of fabric make good head covers!

Autumn

Autumn-Themed Survey Created by acoustichearts79 and taken 76 times on Bzoink
First of all, is autumn your favourite season? Why or why not?:	It is and winter
Is it 'autumn' or 'fall', to you?:	Autumn
What kind of weather does your area get during this season?:	Medium cool
Were you born in an autumn month?:	No
Do you pay attention to any 'fall fashions'?:	Some not always
Which leaf colour is your favourite?:	Red
Is it still fun to rake the leaves and jump in piles of them?:	Not really down here
When can you really tell that it's autumn?:	The leaves have changed colors and there is a breeze
Do you still enjoy carving pumpkins?:	Yes
Do you eat the pumpkin seeds? If so, do you put any kind of flavouring on t:	Yes, cinnamon
Are you planning to go to a pumpkin patch this year?:	I hope so
Which was your favourite Halloween costume to wear?:	Anything with sparkleys
Are you planning to go trick-or-treating? Why or why not?:	I hope so. I like to look at the different costumes
Are there any county fairs held nearby during this time?:	I'm not sure I think so
What is your favourite dessert for this time of year?:	Haystacks or maple syrup suckers
Is your Thanksgiving Day in October or November, if you even celebrate it?:	Lol I used to not celebrate it a couple of years ago but now its in November
If you do celebrate it, where do you usually have Thanksgiving dinner?:	Grandma's
Do you remember any crafts you used to do that were autumn-themed?:	The pinecone turkey, but there are ton on Familygo.com that I LOVE
Are any of your favourite bands doing a fall tour this year?:	Not that I know of
Which new TV show are you looking forward to this season?:	... None except Izzie show
How does autumn typically make you feel?:	Rejuvenated
What colour do you always associate with autumn?:	Orange and brown
Is there a song that always reminds you of this season?:	Uh
Do you have any seasonal traditions?:	A ton
Do you spend a lot of time outside during this time of the year?:	Yes
When can you tell that fall is over?:	Too cold and Thanksgiving is over with
What is a typical autumn outfit that you wear?:	Sweaters, hoodies, skirts, boots, blue jeans, and sweater dresses
Describe a perfect autumn day::	Partly cloudy, breeze, leaves falling, and the sun barely shining
Don't you hate it when stores start promoting Christmas waaay too early?:	Not too bad
What is your favourite thing about this season?:	The feeling
You've been totally Bzoink*d! Take This Survey | Search Surveys | Create a Survey

I Want To Hold Your Hand

Of course I want to hold his hand but I have so many ideas that swim in my head....

• A hot bath with oils, bubbles, salts, candles, and flowers. Just the ease of the water that will turn muscles into puddy. 
• Or fixing him a basket of things he needs in the bathroom. 
• Writing notes on the steamed up mirror in the bathroom while he gets a shower.
• For Valentine's Day make heart shape pizza and heart shape cupcakes together. 
• Make him fortune cookies and every day lay one in his car with a reason why I love him on it.
• Go skinny dipping with him. 
• Go cliff diving.
• Play the piano for him. 
• Teach Christmas carols in French.
• Lay on a quilt while reading to him. (Corduroy anyone?)
• Egg rolling at Easter.
• Icicle tree (Hose down a tree)
• Turkey pinecones!
• 80's day for me. And 90's day for him.... TV shows
• Long walk on the beach while humming and feeling of the water lapping at our feet.
• Getting swept up in the wave together.
• Take the kids to see Santa, and maybe we both in get in Santa's lap? Lol I'd love it.
• Make wreaths together. 
• Go looking at the Christmas lights all over.
• Give him the 12 days of Christmas... well sorta. Lol 
• Go to see Ridge as Mary in the Christmas Play
• Go to the quad at the U of A to see the illuminaries.
• Paint him a picture.
• Watch the Kiddy Christmas shows from back in the day.
• A true French Christmas anyone?
• Play video and computer games while right beside him.
• Take naps in all kinds of locations with him.
• Go tubing with him
• Go scuba diving with him
• Play water wiffle ball with him
• Play volley ball in the mud
• Just drink tea and listen to music or play cards
• Blindfold him and take him some place special
• Leave a trail of Reese's Pieces to a note that say You put my pieces back together. :) (I LOVE IT)
• Propose with a ringpop just to see what he says
• Write love letters
• Instead of stuff bears find some other kind of animal to stuff
• Play kissing games
• Make him the love "coupons"
• Write things in the sand or snow
• Go to the mountains and just look at the views
• Never get stuck in that Oh we can't talk about serious stuff in person stage... I hate that
• Visit Europe with him.
• Look into his eyes and lean forward but not touching him...
• Just gently touching his cheek and tracing his cheek bone
• Slowly kissing him softly

Disney Princess Survey

Cinderella:
[/] One of your parents is dead
[/] You are/were expected to do a lot of chores
[/] You love to dress up
[/] You love animals
[/] You are waiting patiently for your Prince Charming
[ ] Your mom is really strict
[ ] You have sisters who seem kind of jealous of you
[ ] You're afraid to speak your mind sometimes
[/] You have left your shoes at a friend's house before
[ ] You have blonde hair
TOTAL: 6

Belle:
[/] You've kissed someone your friends didn't like
[ ] You've been lost in the forest
[/] You love to read
[/] You are not shy at all, and not afraid to speak your mind
[/] One of your family members is a bit weird
[/] You have done volunteer work
[/] You have a wild imagination
[/] You love to take care of people in need
[/]You've had guys like you only because they think you're pretty
[/] You've rejected at least one person when they've asked you out
TOTAL: 9

Jasmine:
[ ] Your dad is very rich/important
[/] You are very clever
[/] You've been with someone way different from you
[/] You're unique and different from everyone else
[/] You'd never marry someone just because they were rich
[/] You have set a lot of goals for yourself
[ ] You don't have a lot of friends
[ ]You're independent
[ ] You are wealthy
[ ]Your parents try to control your life
TOTAL: 5

Ariel
[ ] Your parents expect a lot from you
[ ] You really try to follow the rules, but it's hard for you
[/]You're a bit of a trouble maker
[ ] You're the youngest in your family or in the last 2
[/] You have a lot of sisters (3 or more)
[ ]you collect something
[/]You have/had long, hair
[ ] You have/had a pet fish
[ ] You're extremely curious
[ ] You believe everything people tell you/you're a bit gullible
TOTAL: 3

Snow White;
[ ] You know that you're beautiful
[ ] Sometimes it seems like your mom is jealous of you
[/] You've almost been killed
[/]You have at least seven good friends
[/] You've had food poisoning
[ ] You have/had short hair
[ ] You get along with almost everyone
[/] All of your friends are different
[ ] You love to have a good time
[ ] You're happier when you're out of the house than in
TOTAL: 4

Mulan;
[/] You can be a tomboy sometimes.
[ ] People wish you could be a bit more girly
[ ]You've pretended to be someone you're not
[/] You've had a physical fight with someone
[ ] You have/had considered running away from home
[ ] Your parents try to plan your life out
[/] a lot of your friends are boys
[ ] You sometimes find yourself in bad situations
[/] You love your family so much that you'd do anything to protect them
TOTAL: 4

Aurora;
[/] You live/have lived with someone other than your parents
[/] You almost died at a very young age
[ ] You are gentle, loving, and/or thoughtful
[/]You have a decent singing voice
[ ] You like to sleep in late on the weekends
[ ]You spend most of your time outside [try to]
[ ] You're adopted
[/] You're very romantic
[ ] Pink is one of your favorite colors
TOTAL:4

Pocahontas;
[/] You love to walk around and explore big cities
[ ] You are more spiritual than religious
[ ] You've been in an interracial relationship
[/] One of your family members is dead (mum, dad, sister, brother, grandma, grandpa)
[ ] Your parents are very protective of you
[ ] Someone you know has been in war
[ ]You love nature
[ ] You have/had black hair
[/] You would love to move somewhere exotic and beautiful
[/] You're very adventurous
TOTAL: 4

Take the princess's name that you got the most in and repost...if you have more than 1, play eeny meany myny moe with them until you get an answer and...
Repost this as, If I were a Disney Princess, I'd be  Belle

Its Thursday!

1. Which would you miss more : being able to hear someone you love's voice, or being able to see them?
Hearing them.
2. Would you rather live in a world like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?
I don't know, I really don't. I loved both! 
3. Have you ever consumed a fig?
Yes
4. Do you have a dry erase board on your fridge?
The portable one I have in my car the whole door is a dry erase board
5. What do you plan to eat for you next meal?
Grill chicken and mashed potatoes
6. Is your keyboard clean?
Sorta 
7. Do you ever get belly button lint?
Um, I keep my belly button clean

8. When was the last time you had hot chocolate?
A few months ago

9. Is there a specific cup / glass that you prefer to drink out of?
Not really

10. Have you ever watched the Singing Bee? What do you think of it?
Nope

11. Do your hands get dry & itchy after you wash them?
Mhm
12. Would you be embarrassed if your parents read your survey answers?
Maybe

13. Do you pick up people's habits after you've been around them a long time?
Kinda

14. What is something you wouldn't be able to give up, even if you were offered a million dollars for it?
Family

15. Do you have a Kindle? If not, would you ever want one?
I do have one

16. Do you prefer fresh-baked doughnuts from someplace like Dunkin Donuts or a pre-packaged box from a supermarket?
HOT N NOW
17. Do you ever color in the empty spots in letters [such as an O on a piece of paper that says 'Olives are grand']?
While talking on the phone 
18. Do you prefer to drink with a straw or straight from the glass?
Depends on how much ice and what style of ice

19. What kind of cheese do you like on your deli sandwiches?
All kinds :)
20. Are you uncomfortable sleeping near a window?
Nope

21. Are you a frequent emoticon user?
Eh sometimes more a * person
22. Can you sleep comfortably with one pillow or do you need more?
I need more

23. Do you / did you ever like glitter gel pens?
I did and still do

24. What do you do to occupy yourself when the electricity goes off?
Omg color, talk on the cellphone, bust out the portable DVD player, read by candles and flashlights, or my favorite go to sleep
25. When was the last time you burnt your tongue?
I don't remember

Run Dry

Relax take my hand

I'll walk you through this life

I know that I'm not perfect

but I swear that I'll try. 

As years pass me by,

I'll hold you by my side,

As years pass us by....

This river will run dry

Though forever we will fly,

Underneath the most dark and decrepit skyline,

You still seem to shine.

At oceanside your smile takes, 

the moonlight's luster away.

The waves break on the shore, for you,

with every word you say.

As I pass day by day,

As we pass day by day. 

This river will run dry

Though forever we will fly,

Underneath the most dark and decrepit skyline,

You still seem to shine.

My Promise

That tender gaze,

That lovely smile,

Make yourself intriguing, sweet guy.

Your eyes which shine like a bright star,

Have a wonderful gift everytime they look at me.

your kisses are exciting, deep and sincere.

Just hearing your voice makes me fall in love

With you more and more.

What I'm willing to do to keep a smile in you face.

Remember I love you just they way you are.

My Snuggle

So safe and warm, happy
I lay in your arms
My arms embracing you
Never wanting to let go

I meet your gaze and smile wider
Stroking your face with my hand
Leaning in you stroke my hair
Our lips meet in a sweet kiss

My arms wrap around you more
Holding you tighter and closer
I whisper in your ear I love you
You respond I love you so much

We hold each other tight, kissing passionately
Slower and softer our kisses become
Pulling apart I put my hand to your chest
Gazing up to your face I start to melt

Facing each other, talking about anything
Shooting the breeze as we lay together
I never want this moment to end
To hold you forever and ever

As we fall asleep with my head on your chest
Our arms wrapped around one another
Our legs intertwined on the bed
Our hearts beating as one

Faithful

I look at you and I see everything that I've ever wanted. But the question that burns me is 'do I deserve you?'. My body shakes at the thought of getting close to you in person and us not working out. My heartaches at hearing the breaking in your voice. But I had reality hit me today, I've never daydreamed about being with anyone like I have with you. I've always dreamed of my life getting better. And its not me I'm worried about getting hurt. I've seen you be hurt now. I do not want to hurt you myself. I'm scared that I will screw up. Its not like this with anyone else where we don't even have to ask for forgiveness with each other we know its  there. God I won't ever forget the phone call I got where Ridge asked me if I liked you. I think I turned like a million shades of red. I remember my knees and buckling and falling on the couch. And who could forget the day after I left Luke? April 16.... Right after I made myself a promise. And that hasn't changed. "I wanna lay like this forever." My thoughts flicker to you all the time. I still find Broken by Lifehouse is still fitting for me at the moment. "And I'm hanging on the words you say you said that I will be ok." I honestly think that before I can move on I'm going to have stand face to face my past and fears. Going to Atlanta is one of them and facing Luke one on one without everyone getting a tizzy with the exception of Tommy. Everyone else back off of me for a while. I do believe that's what it will take and after that I will be forever faithful to mon Tommy.

True Colors

The blood was shed 
It will never be the same
Feel the intruding lead 
That hangs my head in pain

The drainage not on my hands 
But flows down my back
It was only in the sands 
Where you planned your attack

Executed without flaws
With no issue at hand 
You dug deep with your claws 
Into a faceless land 

Your face full of lies 
When you greet me at that place
I see through your disguise 
And reject your embrace 

The wound you try to heal 
Is now a gaping maw
Your words can never conceal 
The true colors I saw

KISA

In this world full of hurt and pain,
I found someone who would help me through the rain.
Who comforts me when Im sad,
Does everything just to make me glad.

In this world I found a Brave Knight,
Who never gives up any fight.
A knight who dries away my tears,
Telling me to overcome my fears.

A knight who loves me for who I am inside,
With him there's nothing more I need to hide.
A person who will still be standing strong,
Eventhough everything has gone wrong.

I found someone who is willing to give me more,
Someone I can call my Knight In Shining Armor.

More than Passion

Silently she awakes and gazes upon him there.
She sees him sleeping peacefully and longs to hold him near.
She reaches out her trembling hand to gently touch his face.
Remembering short hours ago, sharing love's embrace.
He stirs just then and spies her tender loving stare.
Then places his hand over hers, stunned at the extent of her care.
Their eyes never leave each other as she caresses his soft skin.
She smiles at him slightly as she moves closer to him.
He takes her in his arms placing a kiss upon her cheek.
She turns her head slowly, his lips for her to seek.
A subtle moan escapes her as his hand explores anew.
Passions kiss intensifies as their rhythmic dance ensues.
He proclaims his love for her as he kisses her wanting neck.
She moves her hands over him finally to rest upon his chest.
Feeling her velvet secret engulf him again and again,
And feels her building climax escaping from her then.
She arches back, catches his eyes adoring their allure.
As they reach their perfect harmony, together once more.

5:25 a.m.

What is the most annoying noise you can think of?: 
Tree frogs
When you dance to a song do you dance more with your head or your hands?: 
Neither
Do you like the feeling of flour?: 
Yes Lol 

Do you feel the water in a pool before you get in, or do you dive right in?: 
Dive right in
Last time you walked around naked, or in a towel?: 
This afternoon.

Have you ever switched names with a friend, and made someone belive you?: 
Nope.

Have you ever touched a squirrel?: 
Yeah.

Do you have a fear thats sort of uncommon?: 
Terrified of lightning....
Have you ever had your hands stuck together by glue, or something else?: 
No.

Whats better, candles or incense?: 
Candles.

How often do you make simple spelling mistakes?: 
It's not often.

Do you know anyone with a common sounding name but its spelled differently?: 
I know a few.

Which situations are you usually in, when u tend to zone out, or space out?: 
When people tell me the same story over and over, people tell a really boring story, going on about something I could care less about.
In your school which was higher most of the time, the students or grades?: 
Students, definitely.

What letter does the state you live in start with?: 
A.
Whens the last time you've smelled a skunk?: 
I don't remember.

How many pets have you had in your life time?: 
A lot.

Which teacher was the most hated in school?: 
Probably Ms. Off or Mrs. Bryan

Which parent do you get your eyes from?: 
Mom
Do you currently have some kind of alcohol in your fridge?: 
Wished
What kind of headphones do you prefer?: 
Skullcandy
Whats the last thing you had to take responsibility for?: 
My kids
Do you ever untie your shoelaces, or do you just slip your foot in?: 
I always untie them.

Do you have anything on your fridge?: 
Yes.

If you added three years to your age, how old would you be?: 
29...omg 

Whats the cutest pair of pj's you own?: 
My new VS ones

How easily do you get grossed out?: 
Not too bad
Would you rather be inside, or outside?: 
Equal of both
Have you ever fallen asleep on a trampoline before?: 
Yes
How often do you roll up your pantlegs when your wearing pants?: 
Never unless I'm at a creek or on the beach, sometimes then.. but not always

First of many thoughts tonight....

I'm in the hospital and I have a chronic disease but I dream of taking care of him more than him taking care of me. I enjoy the thoughts of waiting for him to get home. Holding him in a soothing hug when comes on the porch. Then going inside and fixing him breakfast. Smiling while he changes out of his work clothes. Then heating the herbal packs for him while I finish up with breakfast. And I love that idea. I also love the thought of getting him to go to sleep. Holding him while slightly stroking his hair and neck. Take of his cuts and other accidents he has. And taking him to the doctor and sitting with him. The days he doesn't feel well take care of him. And not just hand him a pill bottle. Check on him while he is asleep. Rock him while he is upset. Sadly I like the idea of reading to him. Just simple little things besides doing it. The idea of being snuggled up to him, if he has a cold, with the water vaporizer going. Making sure his lunch is fixed every night and that he has had something to eat before he leaves. Doing his laundry for him. And one thought that makes me giggle is the though of me and him doing dishes together. Me washing them and him with his arms around me working over my arms rinsing them. Or having a theme birthday is a great idea that I love. Or another odd idea is me trying to do the crossword puzzle in the paper while he is piled up playing a video game. For some reason that makes me smile in the most unusual way. Making fun and funny foods and laughing with him. Keeping him happy is a wonderful though to me and as well as keeping him healthy.

Don't get me wrong I want to be taken care of too. But not overly done. I want just a simplicity. A quick kiss on the forehead while I'm waking up or going to sleep. Tickling. Holding hands in the car while looking at the scenery. And as much as I hate it, comforting during the enemas. And maybe a surprise or two during the time of the month I hate. I'm not asking for like roses every week or huge special dinners. I want simple yet refine. The happy kind where everything is wonderful for just the moments.

Want

All I want is you,
Deep inside me,
With my legs wrapped tightly around you.

Your like a fever in my heart and in my soul...
Running through my blood to the center of my core.

I want you; only you..
To thrill me, to feel me, to chill me,
To make me to break me,
I want you to feel me up and shake me.

I can feel your lips, 
your hands...
caressing and arousing,
Stroking and teasing me,
Softly, gently, and passionatly.

What vivid images I can't shake.
I crave you...
I want you...
I am moist and hot for you.

My desire for you is like a fever in my own private thoughts.
Your taste..
your touch.. 
your smell..
your essence..

It burns through me and around me,
Filling me up with such craving passionate desires..
of wanting you..
Needing you..
Loving you..

Only Kind of Perfection

Slowly you seduce me

Teasing me tantalizingly

With your tongue

Making me tingle for your touch.

Your eyes enjoying me

Gazing enraptured

Drowning in the deep blue depths

Only to rise to the surface gasping with rapture.

Me teasing you

Taunting you temptlingly

Tracing tenderly the lace of my top

Trying to turn you on.

Carefully caressing

Clothing carelessly cast aside.

Promises of passion

Playfully and oh so powerfully met.

Desire driving deeper

Flames flickering from within.

Inching inside in intensity

Building and burning brighter.

Peaking passionately, pervasively

Wave upon wave washing over us

Whisking us where we meet

Hopelessly heavenward, holding each other helplessy.

Smiling sweetly, sated and satisfied

Cuddling closely and calmingly

Laying lovingly, lips lightly touching and tasting.

Perfection in passion.