First of many thoughts tonight....

I'm in the hospital and I have a chronic disease but I dream of taking care of him more than him taking care of me. I enjoy the thoughts of waiting for him to get home. Holding him in a soothing hug when comes on the porch. Then going inside and fixing him breakfast. Smiling while he changes out of his work clothes. Then heating the herbal packs for him while I finish up with breakfast. And I love that idea. I also love the thought of getting him to go to sleep. Holding him while slightly stroking his hair and neck. Take of his cuts and other accidents he has. And taking him to the doctor and sitting with him. The days he doesn't feel well take care of him. And not just hand him a pill bottle. Check on him while he is asleep. Rock him while he is upset. Sadly I like the idea of reading to him. Just simple little things besides doing it. The idea of being snuggled up to him, if he has a cold, with the water vaporizer going. Making sure his lunch is fixed every night and that he has had something to eat before he leaves. Doing his laundry for him. And one thought that makes me giggle is the though of me and him doing dishes together. Me washing them and him with his arms around me working over my arms rinsing them. Or having a theme birthday is a great idea that I love. Or another odd idea is me trying to do the crossword puzzle in the paper while he is piled up playing a video game. For some reason that makes me smile in the most unusual way. Making fun and funny foods and laughing with him. Keeping him happy is a wonderful though to me and as well as keeping him healthy.

Don't get me wrong I want to be taken care of too. But not overly done. I want just a simplicity. A quick kiss on the forehead while I'm waking up or going to sleep. Tickling. Holding hands in the car while looking at the scenery. And as much as I hate it, comforting during the enemas. And maybe a surprise or two during the time of the month I hate. I'm not asking for like roses every week or huge special dinners. I want simple yet refine. The happy kind where everything is wonderful for just the moments.